GOOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING AT THE ERC

I guess I painted a rather bleak picture in the last entry, but life has gone on in a very blessed way. I am absolutely loving what I do here at the ERC! I have become the “resume Queen”, according to Sister Splain (who would have guessed !!). I always pray every morning—and often during the day—that I might have the Spirit to be with me to guide me and help me in whatever I do, but especially when I help candidates with resumes (and with registration, to discern their needs and to help them feel His love). I mentioned previously that I have a gift for language and writing that I have seldom used, and He has helped me to use it in the very best way. It is hard to explain, but there is a kind of synergy that comes as I work with someone on their resume, accompanied by spiritual insight. When we get through and format it on Word, there is a confirmation that it is just right that comes to both of us. Often, he or she will say, “that's really me, isn't it”--probably the highest compliment that could be given. Yesterday, an older gentleman, who had amazing credentials in the nuclear fuel field and who had accomplished so many significant things, such as saving the taxpayers over $3million. His resumes, he had 19, were over 14 pages long and filled with titles, experiences, accomplishments. He merely wanted to go back to work somewhere using the knowledge and experiences he had in quality assurance to help a private company, because he just loved to work in his field. He didn't care about the money and would settle for a quarter of what he was worth. It was the hardest resume I have done to date and took over 6 hours of effort, but it was so much fun for both of us, the time just flew by. He was delighted with the result (at one point, he smiled and almost through tears said, “that is finally really me, isn't it?” and I felt the Holy Ghost like a wind pass by me, as I also felt tears of gratitude). Everyone (who had avoided working with him, because it was so scarey hard) was amazed, and I was praised by my co-workers and Ben, who I really look up to in this area. It was a really good day, and everyone (even the sisters) was so nice toward me. Sister Splain, who is the resident expert on resumes, said that I was the "Queen of Resumes." 

Sister Clark, my companion, went home the end of Feb. and I have felt quite liberated to be myself (though the other two sisters still don't feel I am an acceptable person, even while they congratulate me on all the work I am doing). Yet, it is a little lonely now that I am living alone. I'm not ever afraid, as I have felt very loved and protected by the Lord in my life, and I try to communicate with him often about my activities. I am steadily repenting of my many weaknesses, especially when I drive, and I am improving. I don't feel any bad feelings toward those who have persecuted me (and the negative comments and scrutiny have continued). I am excited about the future and going home, where I can continue to do what I am doing here to help people (or whatever the stake president has in mind). In the meantime, I am hoping for busy days and lots of resumes, and a chance to teach the career workshop a few more times. The Lord has blessed me to find lovely places to walk after work , and the trees are leafing out, the flowers are starting up in trees, on cacti, and and in gardens. It is starting to get hot already (it's still March!!!), but I have air conditioning inside, and the evenings are still good. Bobbie is coming to vacation here in April, so I will get to see her (and send my winter things home—and anything else I won't need). I can't wait to see her and Ashton, if only for a couple of days. There are now three newly called senior sisters coming, two in April and one in May, and I will be training them in what I know. I have spoken to one on the the phone and she is really lovely, and I can't wait to meet her.

I really look forward to helping with resumes, but they are done by appointment because they take so much time. Yesterday, I really enjoyed working with another candidate, Ryan, who has been looking for work for a very long time, even though he is talented and well-qualified in his field. He took the career workshop and then we worked to get his resume just right. He was so happy with it, and so was I. I also learned still more about how to format (some day I'll know it all!). The field was quite complicated and it took some time to find quantifiable information in simplified language, but it really looked good when we finished. He hugged me with joy because he now has a new hope of getting employment, and his testimony was strengthened.

A GOOD STORY DURING “DEAD” TIME AT THE ERC

Today the center is “dead” (which is why I am writing this now) with little or no activity ( I always hate it when no one comes, because I love the work and I love to be busy). I guess I should use this time, when it come, to write more about what has transpired here. However, when it is really busy, so much happens that I forget over days. There was a very nice man who came in to have help with his resume who was very talented in painting cars, and he had a portfolio of photos of some he has done. Because of the economy, he had been downsized, but he was very conscientious and knew how to do the job right, without compromise in quality (I wondered if that was why he was unemployed). We worked together and he was pleased and we looked for jobs he could pursue. Anyway, the next week, as I was trying to back out of the tiny parking places divided by poles, I brushed against the pole and really messed up the right front fender, including a dent. I was dismayed, but remembered Victor, the car painter, so I called him to look at it. It's amazing how much it costs to fix even a scratch. Elder Bunn, who has a lot of knowledge of lots of things, said that car paint costs at least $200 a gallon, and with the specialized pearlized paint, more. I learned that the estimate for my problem was around $2800!!  Could he do it for much less?  Victor said that the materials to fix it would be over $300, but possibly more. He said he would do the work for $500, the amount of my deductible, and very painlessly, as he would take my car when I went to the Center, and then bring it back before 5PM.. He also said he would completely detail it. He came back after the first day, and it looked gorgeous. Even the fender was only a little noticeable. The second day, he really did the body work, took out the dent, sanded, etc..and came back after work. It was like new. However, when I asked him if he came out all right financially, he said that he had to pay for color-matching because the paint didn't exactly match the car. He said he was all right about it, that “it was what it was”, but I was concerned he was underpaid. He said he only cleared $100 for the job, and I knew it was too little for that great job, so I paid he another $100, and he was grateful. I hope he finds a good place to work, where his work ethic is valued.

QUO VADIS ? AT THE ERC

I have enjoyed quite a few small triumphs, as I learned more about how to help people, especially with their resumes, and I now have helped to write many more resumes, and some very complicated ones. We have learned from our very knowledgeable Associate Manager, Ben Barclay, who was hired this year, that the most effective resumes need to be “measurable,”proving the competence and skills that are showcased in the resume.

Much has happened since I last wrote in this blog. No, my situation with the senior sisters has not changed very much, although my companion has gone home. Now, I can be myself at least away from the center—and feel like I am an acceptable person. However, I still feel a lot of judgment in the ERC where I can't seem to say or do the “ right” thing. But now it doesn't affect me as much—though the hours at the center (when the people looking for employment don't come in) seem very long. Early in February, the mission president asked me to come into his office to see him. He said that my “replacement” was coming in May. I didn't understand him at first and said that they must have made a mistake, because that had to be Sister Clark's replacement, as she was going home right away. I told him that I was, I thought, supposed to go home in October. He was very nice and said he would find out more. Then, only a week later, I was given a paper by the service missionary who is our coordinator, which came from the Missionary Department. It was an official notice of my release date. I was devastated: the date was May 30! I immediately asked if I could talk to the mission president again, but he was busy until  the next week. I felt that I had promised the Savior a whole year of service, and I would let Him down if I did less. I, again, spent the night in tears and prayer, but, in the morning, I felt such a warm reassurance as the Spirit whispered, “You are not being sent home as a “troublemaker” or they would have sent you home directly. It is an honorable release; you could extend, if you want to.” I felt so relieved and ressolved that I would ask my mission president how I could go about doing that. In the days before he could talk to me, I began to wonder if I had, after all,  received an answer to my secret prayer.  (Unknown to everybody, under all the duress, I had prayed daily, shortly after I realized what I had gotten into, that I would not run away, but stick it out and work and learn and do everything I could at least until May, and then, if things didn't improve, that I could, through some miracle orchestrated by Him, go home honorably and finish my mission there. I just didn't think I could endure all of the misery which made every day a challenge (with the exception of the wonderful blessings interspersed during each day—which were not inconsiderable) and also not be able to be outside in Nature to pray and meditate because of the terrible heat which would come in the summer. However, I realized that I loved the work in my mission and because I was doing this for Him, I was commited to stay out for the the year—until Oct. When I was able to talk to the mission president, I told him I had wanted to receive counsel about whether I should extend my mission, but he felt strongly that I should go along with the “plan” from Salt Lake and did not want to even discuss the possibility of my extending. After I left his office I wondered if I was being punished for being persecuted!. Frankly, I was getting tired of fighting it and felt that maybe I should pray again about what He wanted me to do. After all, I was serving this mission for Him. As I was praying, I felt a prompting that almost made me laugh. He knew exactly what I was going into way before I ever arrived here! It was all part of His plan for me, and it was exactly what He had for me to learn. It was not just a “bad fit” as my mission president expressed it, but, ironically, it was a perfect fit for my ongoing education and for His plan for me. For whatever reason this was done, my updated release date was also part of His plan for me. I felt this warm wonderful feeling that He was pleased with my sacrifice and accepted my service, despite my own feelings of failure. It was all right for me to go home the end of May, and it was an honorable release! Although it wasn't a year, but 8 months, it has felt like a lot longer time, as the time has dragged during the “down times” which were often the rule, not the exception Prior to my meeting with the mission president and after I had received the release paper, I noticed the phone number of my beloved stake president on the paper, and, in desperation, I called him. He was so supportive and kind and asked me to tell him everything I had experienced. I told him how much I loved the service part of the mission, but was so hurt and confused by the way I felt I had been treated. I had thought for a long time that it must be my fault or just my perception, but others, including some of the candidates and a few sweet friends I had made, had commented on it too. He said he felt that he would be happy to have me come home and that there were lots of opportunities for service there that he would love for me to do. He said it was not about how long I might serve, but how I served, and I knew in my heart I had given my best. So, I am going to do my best to work as hard as I can between now and May 30, and then, joyously return to my family. Now, I feel so differently about this mission. I do love it and all that I have learned from it. Because of this mission, I have learned to listen better and validate what others say to me. I am becoming much more more forthright, while also trying to be considerate and sensitive in my communication. I am learning how to be more meek and humble, and to be quiet and listen with more attention to what others have to say. I am also learning to be more precise and careful in whatever work I do. I have learned so much about the problems and trials in unemployment and the great resources the LDSEmployment Resource Center has to offer, how to use the computer and help people with their resumes. Most importantly, I have been shown the importance of communicating to others in a kind, loving and positive way, knowing how negative words and non-verbal cues can be weapons that are damaging and hurtful. I realize that if I had not tried to stay close to the Savior, who I have learned over many years has always been there for me, and for whom I wanted so much to serve, despite whatever opposition, I might have actually run away and maybe even become inactive in the only true Church. We have to endure many things in order to be more like the Savior, and I surely have had to endure very little in the way of pain compared to those heart-breaking trials He had to face, which would have destroyed me. Most of all, I have been able to share my love, my testimony, my hope with others who were receptive—to “impart to others the “reason for the hope that is in me.” I still am concerned about what some of my friends and family might think about my returning in May, though I know this smacks of the “fear of men”, but I hope I will find the love and acceptance I felt before I left. In any case, I know He will still be there for me and I can count on His great love to bear me up.