I have been almost overwhelmed with my experiences here and all the new conditions of my life. I knew that this mission would be a test, but had no clue how difficult it would be. My life is so totally different from what it was before, which is causing a lot of homesickness, but there are lots of blessings here, too. Our apartment is really nice, for a missionary apartment, and is very roomy, equipped with all we need to live comfortably. There are beautifully landscaped courtyards inside each apartment cluster (in which the apartments are built around a square) and in every one there is a pool or hot pool. Ours is the largest courtyard with a large swimming pool, small nicely hot jacuzzi, and a playground. I can also walk from one courtyard to another and see a variety of landscaping trees, bushes and flowers. It is mostly more deserty , not tropical, but very well done. My bedroom, very large, has a nice bathroom, huge closet, and a patio door that opens onto the courtyard, with a tiny porch right outside the door. We are on the ground floor, so I can just walk out the door and look at the lovely trees as I walk. I often go for a walk around the courtyards on the cement paths that circle each. We leave from this to go to our assigned labor every morning at 7:454 AM and return some time after work which officially ends at 4:30 PM (or later, depending on whether we have a training or something else), so it's kind of like a regular job, five days a week. I have so much to learn about this, but I am making really good progress, even with my nemesis, the computers! In the center, we learn how to help “candidates” obtain jobs in a marvelously simple but effective way. When someone comes in for the first time, member or non-member, we help him or her learn what we are about, first of all. This is my most favorite part, because I have the privilege of greeting these people and helping them feel the love that our Savior has for them. While this is not a proselyting mission, we represent the Church as ambassadors of Jesus Christ, and are often the first “face” non-members meet. After we ask about their employment goals, we tell them about the importance of “networking” with others and groups which we have for this very purpose (70 to 80 per cent of jobs are obtained through networking). We invite them to go to some of the Church networking groups in the area, and we let them know that after they are registered on theldsjobs.org website, they will be able to see a lot of different job information. When we register them, the website opens up into several really useful places. First, we show them a place where they can fill out a job profile which is similar to a resume, but a bit more personal. It starts with a “me in 30 seconds” statement, which describes the strengths and abilities, and desires of the “candidate.” There are also a place to put six power statements with more details about their strengths. We explain that we have a valuable free workshop, the Career Workshop, where they can learn vital lessons that will help them obtain a job more easily. I have witnessed for myself how valuable this workshop is. First, they learn to accentuate their strengths, something many of them have forgotten in their despair about unemployment. They write their “me in 30 seconds” statements with our help, as well as “power statements” about themselves. They learn how to write a resume and, with our help, they leave with a good one. Also, a cover letter, how to dress, how to interview and what to say, and what not to say. We have “mock” interviews using commonly asked questions by employers and coach them on what to say. This workshop in invaluable in helping them. It was a private workshop which commanded thousands of dollars as a private course, but was given free to the Church to use for our “candidates.” Most serious “candidates” sign up for the course. We tell them that after they have completed 90 per cent of the “profile”, they can enable it to allow potential employers to see it. On the flip side, we also recruit potential employers to register in the website and look for candidates there, and we have a large number of companies registered (some owned by members of the Church, most, not). This is often a good way for candidates to find the right job. On the website are many helps and tips for the “candidates”, but they is much more. There is also a “search” box that helps them locate the latest job openings before most job-seekers see them, which are accessed by “keywords” and are listed by date, the most recent appearing first. Some of the jobs available are thousands in number!! In addition, we have put all the local and national (even international—we had a Canadian company come to the center to interview potential employers!) websites, including job sites, like Hot Leads, sites for work at home, community and government openings, job fairs, schools, and virtually every possible website, which they can click on and browse. We help them fill out applications, attach and or email resumes right there. However, the best thing is that they can use their own computers at home for the same purposes and come in for help any time. Most of those who come in to use our computers don't have computers (some don't have a home), or they also come in to look at the latest job listing that are emailed to our center and put in books (most recent in the first pages). We also keep track of everyone who comes in and registers. We phone and email every one who registers, especially as they come in and work with us. Even those we never see again, get calls and emails of encouragement until they find jobs. It is very intense at times—one day I was registering three members of a family at one time!! We have about 7 computers available all day. I love it when we are busy and I get to help lots of people (new and returnees), but then sometimes it is slow, which is much harder for me. Right now, I am still learning so many things that it fills the time, which is good for me, and there is a lot to learn. I love the opportunity of doing the Lord's work to encourage and give hope to people who often feel hopeless or worthless, letting them know they count and have wonderful things about them as God's children. I think that sometimes we see more non-members that a lot of missionaries!
This is several days later...Although my mission is essentially at the ERC (Employment Resource Center), just telling a little about what we do, leaves lots of stuff out. It is now a full month since I arrived here, and I can now tell about some of the difficulties which have been more or less resolved. I feel I have really turned a corner and am now re-committed to what I thought might be impossible for me to do. I think in the Church we try not to talk about all the difficult things that are part of a mission, so as not to seem of wavering faith, but during the first week, I thought I would have a nervous breakdown I was so conflicted. On the one hand, and I never lost sight of this, I wanted to serve the Savior who has, and continues to bless me so very much. However, everything about this mission was either a terrible shock or terribly uncomfortable from the start. I literally left everything that was familiar and a blessing to me from Heavenly Father (my home, my bed, my dogs, my wonderful family, walks in the garden, hikes in the mountains, alone time, meditation time, skiing in winter, my friends, my yard, chickens, climate I loved, visits to and from grandchildren (and children), good times, movies, TV shows with Danny—literally everything I loved—to come to a climate I hate, a city apartment, no mountains, no grass, few and small trees, people who have little sense of humor, a hostile companion who is as different from me as night and day and who is pretty set in her ways, critical, controlling, an office atmosphere that leaves me walking on eggshells because I felt so uncomfortable, no alone time, no fun food and no going out to eat (except at restaurants with horrible fast food, etc. I was devastated, and felt that I could not do this for more than a week or two without expiring! I tried to talk to my companion and being nice and deferential to those I work with, but I felt I was just not accepted or even liked. I prayed—cried every night—and begged him to let me go home. I couldn't sleep, sometimes several days in a row with no sleep at all, and began to feel ill. Part of the problem was that, as missionaries, I was told by the three sister missionaries, we are supposed to stay together, but I was informed by someone in Salt Lake, when I phoned after my call came, that the
rules are not as clear-cut for senior missionaries. However, my companion and the other senior lady missionaries feel we need to be together whenever we want to go somewhere, which has caused something of a delemna for me. I feel I need some alone time to walk and ponder (which I have depended on for most of my life as an opportunity to communicate with my Heavenly Father and get rid of excess frustration and/or anxiety). My companion, Sister Clark is a very good person and is 6 years older than me She is extremely talented in crafts, sewing, and homemaking, as well very well versed in the work we do in the ERC (employment research center), but she is disappointed in the fact that I am not too interested in crafts and want to walk in the nearby park (the closest thing I can find to what I need). . When I prayed about staying here for 23 months, I was in despair that I could do it. When I contemplated about what I felt I could do, the number 12, or 1 year came to my mind, but I was afraid to mention it out loud for fear that I would be even more despised as some kind of heretic. Finally, I knew I needed to talk to the mission president about all my concerns, including the feeling I had that I had traveled from a place I loved to one I hated to work only 8 hours a day, leaving 16 hours to be useless and miserable and homesick, when I could literally do what I was doing here in American Fork and still be surrounded by everyone and everything I loved (and do more good, I felt). I had clicked on the 23 on the computer when I really felt I should choose the one year option, but had not wanted to limit Heavenly Father's work for me. Because, as I later learned, they are short 50% of the seniors, I felt they had just “taken it” and not prayed about the length of time. Finally, I knew if I didn't talk to the President, I would just go home “in shame” rather than bear another miserable day.. I was so glad I did!! He was wonderful and so inspired, and I remembered the feelings I felt when I desired to serve the Lord. I told him I knew I could not be here 23 months and he asked how long I felt I could serve. I told him I could serve “one good year” (actually, by then, I wasn't sure I could serve even three months), and asked if he would pray for me about it and let me know what he learned. He replied, and I felt the Spirit confirm with kind of a “wind” feeling, that he didn't need to pray more about it, but that a year felt “right.” I was so relieved—I wouldn't have to run away after all, I could do this for a year! Then, to my joy, he said I needed to be more busy and use those extra hours going with the sisters to teaching appointments, and he would arrange that to happen in about two weeks!! I was so elated about this. The one thing that I did love about my mission was helping and fellowshipping those who came to the ERC, non-members and dismayed members, and I felt that I could feel Heavenly Father's love for them and encourage them to have hope, which is really hope in the Savior. He also said I should have “companionship inventory” with my companion, which I had already tried unsuccessfully. However, since that time, we have had our “inventory”, and it was wonderful. I learned much more about her and how she saw things, and I realized I had been mistaken about many things—and she seemed to find the same thing. Now, I feel, we are really close, and I think about being “one” with her—working together, rather than the urgency of my own needs, and I am sleeping better, and I don't even feel the urgency to walk like I did. Most of all, the very difficult technical knowledge I need to know in the ERC to even begin to really help those who are unemployed (which I haven't even mentioned yet,because it seemed so beyond me!), I am now actually learning! I have learned so many things and how to do them, and on Fri (Nov 8) I passed a milestone! I actually wrote out a resume (with lots of help with formating, filing, copying, emailing, etc.) for someone applying for a job. There are so many technical computer things you have to do, which was carefully—and patiently—explained to me by Sister Spain. But I actually wrote up most of it by myself! Now I am really learning why I need to serve this mission right here. I have learned so much about sharing, patience, putting others' needs before mine, and all the technical things I need to know, and I could never learn this in my comfortable home. I could never grow into the person Heavenly Father wants me to be without this painful stretching and changing in situations I have always been able to avoid!! And I am changing! I really love my companion now and we enjoy being together, but I am very careful to consider her and her needs and not just my own, and I like myself better. I am still somewhat uncomfortable in the office situation and feel not as accepted as I would like, like I need to “prove” myself before they will like or even accept me. However, it occurred to me that Heavenly Father is using a talent that I have had and wanted to use: I have a gift with words—I can chose words and phrases (and sentences) most appropriate and helpful to any situation, which really can help make a good resume, accentuating our “candidates” strengths and minimizing his/her weaknesses. Also, I can use my gift of Heavenly Father's love for each of His children, which He has enabled me to feel, to help people who come in feel loved and welcome. Not to mention that I will have the opportunity to help the missionaries soon, and partake of that incredible Spirit, helping to teach people. So, in effect, I feel that I will be able to do twice the work in half the time, but learning and doing the work in the ERC and helping teach Gospel lessons with the sister missionaries during the next year. If I grow to love it, I may want to extend, but I still feel I should be there for the year only, as there are more things He wants me to do.
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